In life, we are often affected by our moods and temperaments. Hence, most of us are controlled by emotions. It will be fine if we are filled with positive emotions such as happiness, excitement and contentment. However, when we are affected by negative emotions such as sadness, frustration and anger, our psychological and physical well-being will be adversely affected.

So how do we overcome this problem?

Well, we control our emotions. It’s been said that there’s a fraction of a second before our emotions set in. This indicates that all of us have the freedom to control our emotions. And to do that, we need to examine the cause of the emotions, which is actually our interpretations and responses to incidents, experiences and feelings. Let’s consider an example. Someone knocks into you along the street. When this happens, what is going through your mind? If you have interpreted the intention of this person to be deliberate, you will get angry. However, if you interpret this incident as a fact that this person is rushing to attend to some emergency or simply having a bad day, then you will feel fine and you may even forgive the person. This example vividly illustrates the fact that life is what you make of it. Your thoughts and perspectives are everything.

So, if you are able to change your perspectives, you will change your life. For the better, of course.  In the field of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), this technique is known as reframing. Personally, I do not regard this practice as a form of technique. I suggest that all of us consider positive thinking as a way of life.

I will like to end this article with a short story.

There’s once an old farmer who owns a stable consisting of a few horses. One day, all the horses escaped. When the neighbours came to inform him about the incident, the old farmer simply said, “Who knows if it’s a blessing or not?” Subsequently, all the horses came back to the old farmer’s stable and they have brought along another group of horses as well. When the neighbours came to congratulate the old farmer, he simply said, “Who knows if it’s a blessing or not?” On another day, his son fell from one of the horses and broke his leg. When the neighbours came to visit the old farmer and brought up the incident, he once again said, “Who knows if it’s a blessing or not?” A few months later, the country went to war and all young men have to be conscripted into the army. As the old man’s son has a broken leg, he is exempted from the conscription. When the neighbours came to congratulate the old man, he simply said, “Who knows if it’s a blessing or not?”

How the old man handles both blessings and calamities in life is the right way to live life. True happiness is found in the midst of mundanity. When we purchase new attire or purchase a new video game, we get excited and feel that this is happiness.  In fact, external materialistic possession does not give us everlasting happiness.  Personally, I do not consider such possessions as happiness at all, since it is transient and ephemeral.  

True happiness can only be found within us. We need look no further.